This morning I have some packing to do and then off to work to finalize a few things before I leave on holiday for a week. Savannah and I planned a winter mini-break about a month ago and have been eagerly awaiting it’s arrival. We are headed to the Pacific Northwest. This was the most obvious destination choice for us as it was our home for so many years and it gives us the opportunity to celebrate the season with friends and family.

The husband/father is staying home as we could not bring ourselves to board the kitty for the week. She is so old and frail that I just could not imagine her locked up in a box.  If she is still around for our warm sands holiday in February/March we have found a sitter who will stay with her at the house. For now, the man will keep her company along with the dogs. So girl holiday it is!

I’ll post from the road if I get a chance!

Snowing here in Virginia on this fine Saturday morning!  Seeing the fluffy white stuff blanketing our new green lawn got me motivated. I put on the Christmas music and hauled the decorations up from the basement. Enjoying hot cocoa and the smell of freshly baked cookies.

And there goes the power! No seriously, there goes the power! It’s back on momentarily so I better get this posted while I still have a chance. Time to light the fire and break out the candles. Oh joy! Tis the season!

Enjoy the snow!

Girls age nineteen and under might be at risk for a new illness called Facebook Depression.

It’s no secret teenagers like to chat!  Boys and girls alike chat about anything and everything from dating, to movies, to sports. But there is one thing that girls chat about that boys don’t, their feelings.  Years ago girls used diaries, journals, and slambooks to express themselves. When they needed to talk to a friend, they saw each other in person or they talked on the phone. Nowadays, the electronic age has taken over for face to face interaction and Facebook, Twitter, MySpace and texting are the mediums of choice. While these are great tools for communicating and keeping in touch and up to date with your friends, they can also be detrimental for the teenage girl who is going through an emotional period in her life.

Social networking platforms give the teenage girl a place to ruminate on her problems twenty four hours a day, seven days a week. She can become obsessive about discussing her issues with friends and even strangers. She seeks validation for her feelings and when she gets it from her multitudes of “friends” she feels validated in her anger or sadness. This prompts further obsessing and can eventually lead to depression and anxiety. Complaining and commiserating are nothing new in the world of teenage communication, but when posting or texting about problems becomes excessive, this is when Facebook can be considered an unhealthy activity.

So how do you spot Facebook Depression?  Just look for a pattern.  If your daughter or friend is constantly posting or texting negative thoughts or seems to be holding on to a problem like a dog with a bone, she may be depressed. Look for obvious signs of depression like comments about giving up and life not being worth living. But also keep your eyes open for more subtle clues like recent changes in the number of posts, inappropriate language that she had not previously used, blowing things out of proportion, or snapping at friends who try to make them feel better. The last one might be a clear sign that they are beginning to almost enjoy their situation because of the amount of attention they are receiving.

We have all dealt with our fair share of lies in our lives. We all have told at least one and we all have been told more than a few. My novel focuses on several people in a group therapy situation each with their own compulsive behaviors that got them there. I labeled one of my patients as a liar but found out early on that she was not a believable character. No pun intended. I had her lying about the oddest things with no visible pattern or gain. I decided to do some research and here is what I discovered:

For those who have extreme issues with lying there are basically two types; Pathological Liars and Compulsive Liars. Habitual Liars and Chronic Liars are terms usually associated with the Compulsive Liar.

The Pathological Liar lies for personal gain. This is probably the most common form of lying that you will encounter. However, the difference between a co-worker who lies to stay home “sick” and the friend or family member who starts a false rumor in order to take the light off their own mistakes is that the latter feels no guilt or shame. The Pathological Liar cares not who their lies hurt. They are manipulative and devious in their actions and truly believe they are justified because the lie will lead them to whatever it is they desire. Their happiness is the only thing that matters. Often times when they are confronted they will dig their heels deeper into their lies generating compounded lies and eventually believing their own creations. What they fail to realize is that most people can see right through them. They tend to use people up and move on. Often they lose the respect of friends and family until they have no one left to listen to their lies.

Compulsive Liars can be a mystery to many because they do not lie for personal gain but rather they lie out of habit. For them, there is no lie too big or too small. There is no truth that cannot be bent and for no other reason than it can be. They simply cannot tell the truth. On the rare occasion they do speak the truth, it comes as a surprise to even the liar. Compulsive liars tend to move from one relationship to another as the lying tends to take a toll on the people around them. So rather than face the truth they simply move on creating more lies about their past relationships.

My character falls into the Compulsive Liar category. Her lies hurt the people around her but her lies provide her with no personal gain. I have not yet seen that she shows any kind of remorse. On the contrary, she enjoys the act of lying as she often surprises herself with the genius of her spontaneous creations. She simply cannot control it. I considered rewriting her part and making her a Pathological Liar but I fear that her role would then have to be expanded and she would demand more time and attention, something I am not willing to give her right now. I might save that character for a later novel idea I have churning in my brain.

Anger is an extremely powerful emotion and one that is not easily controlled. This is most true when the anger is directed at you. An angry person who has lost control of their emotions causes pain and suffering and in their anger they feel justified. Sometimes they are even proud of themselves. I love the quotes below because they make me smile…even in the face of anger.

The worst-tempered people I’ve ever met were people who knew they were wrong. ~Wilson Mizner

Temper tantrums, however fun they may be to throw, rarely solve whatever problem is causing them. ~Lemony Snicket

For every minute you are angry, you lose sixty seconds of happiness. ~Author Unknown

Get mad, then get over it. ~Colin Powell

If you kick a stone in anger, you’ll hurt your own foot. ~Korean Proverb

Anger dwells only in the bosom of fools. ~Albert Einstein

Sometimes when I’m angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn’t give me the right to be cruel. ~Author Unknown

Spite is never lonely; envy always tags along. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic’s Notebook, 1960

At the core of all anger is a need that is not being fulfilled. ~Marshall B. Rosenberg

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. ~Buddha